Where are you Going?

As my days in Thailand wore on,

I know I now have a valid observation,

My students have difficulty saying

The ing-form of verbs, as in "GOING"

When they want to ask, "Where are you going",

They will say "Where do you go?"

Naturally the answer will also be leaning

and starting with the phrase, "I am go..."

I always tell them that to practice is wise,

Say words over and over again , not just twice,

They may not all become certified masters,

but tried and practiced hard, that's all that matters!

I thought of a game and soon I devised,

A quick way to practice saying it nice,

Where the class will ask aloud, "Where are you going?"

One by one each student will get a turn answering.

The rule of the game in the beginning, I told,

Think of provinces in Thailand, be unique, be bold!

They can mention provinces in the North tip or down the South tip,

"Just exclude the small islands, all of that, let us skip."

A name of a province may only be given once,

Once already mentioned, there is no second chance,

He who repeats, gets a piece of tape on his shoulder,

It's a mark that a punishment will be given when game is over.

The game started, I was amused, everyone was listening,

What a relief! For once, they all had quit talking!

They made sure they don't repeat any name of a province,

Maybe afraid that the punishment will somehow give a wince.

Where are you going? I am going to Nakhon Sawan,

Where are you going? I am going to Samut Prakarn,

Phetchaburi, Suratthani, Chonburi, Lopburi, Suphan Buri,

Phichit, Chumphon, Nan, Phattalung, Pattani.

Rayong, Khon Khaen, Songkhla, and Nakhon Nayok,

Loey, Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai, then somebody said Bangkok,

Everyone disagreed, that answer they cannot accept,

Bangkok is not a province, better say Sisaket or Kamphaengphet.

A nice part of this game , soon unexpectedly came up,

When one of the boys in the class mentioned Narathiwat,

"I am going to Narathiwat", he said, and they all laughed,

Because they know that in there, there's an ongoing combat.

In some of the classes where the students are bright,

They paid close attention and answered with all might,

So at the end of the game, there were only a few,

who had to be punished and told to dance on cue.

It was a very nice game, it brought a smile and glee,

Exciting, not boring, I'm sure everyone will agree,

A practice in saying the verb GO + i-n-g

With a little bit of lesson in learning Thai geography.

As I said goodbye to the class that I met on that day,

They wanted me to go on and they said "Please Ms. Jean, Stay"

I had to move to the next class, and had to leave them on that spot

Behind me, laughing and asked "Where are u going?"

I said "I'm going to NARATHIWAT.

L is for RED

I admit when I first planned

To teach English in Thailand,

I forgot to carefully consider

There's a serious language barrier.

Off I went with no negative mind set

Realizing only later that the students I've met,

Had a low level of English proficiency

In an almost uniform consistency.

At first it's difficult to pay attention,

When they speak, I am lost in thoughts,

I pondered much on their pronunciation

And missed the point that I have sought.

Day by day I soon discovered

The secrets of Thai language slowly bared,

As I listened, I watched their simple gestures,

I felt I'd get by, hmm there's a future

The "r's" they change with "l's"

The "l's" they change with "n's",

When they tell you "the answer is wrong"

You will of course hear, "it is long".

Sometimes the "b" is changed with a "p",

So you can exactly tell and see

That the King's name "Bhumibol"

They will pronounce it "Phumipon"

Consonant clusters is another struggle,

Coupled with the letter-change tangles,

They omit, change or add a letter,

Easier to say, but definitely not better.

For red they say "led", for blue they say "boo"

For orange, it's "olange", for pink (I prefer the Thai "chompoo")

For black they say back, for brown it's "blown" (like clown)

You know why I prefer "chompoo" for pink?

'Coz when they say it, I hear "prink".

It is a struggle to make them say "hotel"

because it always comes out as HO-TEW

in the same way that they say "bell"

when they try it , it sounds like BEW.

When they try to ask "What time is it?"

What comes out is "What time it is?"

Which color is it, when they want to know,

'What color it is?", it will show.

They have trouble saying the letter "h"

When you ask them to spell an h-word

Most probably they will say "hetch"

You will be puzzled, but sure not bored.

Most of the time simple greetings,

Could sound like real tongue twisters

They've perfected 'thank you" and "good morning"

They say it gladly with smile and laughters.

There's a drink they concoct, it's my favorite,

It is red, deep deep red, and so sweet,

The brand name is "Hale's Blue Boy"

Yes you guessed it, they say "her-boo-boy".

After each day's task I feel relieved,

The tension and tiredness, I believe

Come mostly from too much straining,

Trying to memorize new word meanings.

I will go back home soon in April,

Not rich in baht, savings was nil,

But I am sure I used a lot of courage,

Trying to teach English and learn Thai language.

At the end of these all, there's a confirmation,

That in this whole world, whatever nation,

There's nothing less than universal,

than a language taught with and by a SMILE

...

feeling sensitive
feeling delicate
feeling as if
things will complicate


a need for a shield
unwillingness to yield
a sturdy outer cover
go ahead, grow and wield


a wall, a fortress
a damsel in distress?
a silk cocoon
a comfort zone, no less


the rose has its thorns
who'd dare leave her scorned?
in this world, I was born
to take that bull by the horns!


Antoine de Saint Exupery said
The caterpillars you must endure
If you want to get acquainted
with butterflies in the future

little prince

hey there, you look familiar
are you The Little Prince?
I haven't revisited you
from way, way long since!

it's the same golden hair
though your get up isn't princely
but in one quick glance you do look
like the Little Prince of Saint Exupery!

And the flower in your little planet
the ROSE you keep under the globe made of glass
Looks like now there are twins,
but not roses, maybe another flower class?

i remember that familiar stance
leaning over your friend, the flower,
while over there in a scary distance
is that a baobab, threatening to tower?

hey there little prince
are you back from outer space?
thank you for this whiff of happiness
as you visited my place!

big cook, little cook

big cook,
little cook
mix, mix
by the book

clockwise?
counterclockwise?
which way
is really wise?

milk, milk
some more milk
make the mix
smooth as silk

done, done
are we done?
why is the mix
now all gone????

i miss you

today i shed tears for you
memories just flooded through

i can't deny this much is true
i really, really do miss you.

i feel like crap, i know i do
but it is not because of you

it is because this life's troubles
they come in doubles, even triples.

i find comfort in memories
of days past, and reveries

although they now all seem very distant
from my heart I can retrieve, in an instant

how have you been, are you okay?
it's been great thinking of you today!

cabin by the sea

a restored castle or a rustic cabin
does it really matter more than the joy of lovin'?

standing, looking out off the balcony
not in the Castle, maybe in the cabin by the sea

a cabin by the sea, in the summer, is a peach
the art of beachcombing, to me can you teach?

but i fear the big waves, rolling off to the beach
a tsunami, I heard, can get everything leached

an enormous castle = expensive upkeep
winding staircases, before long I'd slip.

'don't need big and empty spaces
cuddle up in small places, enjoy the embraces

castles are too big, too huge for me
better is a cabin, i just hope, not by the sea.

temporary dreams

a spark of hope
from out of the blue
a glint, a beam, a stroke
an ever changing hue


the image before me
danced a merry tune
the dreams that came to me
reminded me of brides in June


light and darkness
hope and despair
joy and sadness
tell me, can you repair?


no more sparks
no more glints and beams
everything is temporary
...even dreams

june bride

June Bride

Pretty lady, the bride in the picture
a whiff of elegance and calm composure
A lovely face, a radiant smile
shows an inherent congenial style

Long, flowing, beautiful black hair
The lovely curls, I can't help but stare!
Not a hair out of place
a totally graceful array

White roses matching her wedding dress
the cool hints of green, a gentle caress
Velvet rose petals, soft and delicate
Match the embroidery,on her dress so intricate!

Twin pearls on her ears
An accent no less
Simple, minus gold's glitter
Complimenting her dress

A tiara on her head
clasping the long, flowing veil
I bet on a full shot,
the veil looks like a trail

Pretty Miss June Bride
Where art thy groom?
Together in a picture
All the roses are in full bloom!

sleep tonight

I want to skip tomorrow
straight into the next day
I wonder if I can borrow
guts and courage for a day

I know I won't sleep tonight
not because the bugs will bite
but it's because I know I might
Lose your love over this fight

I am not ready to lose you
'not ready at all to bid adieu
the love I have in my heart for you
is real, and warm and pure, too.

i dread the coming of the break of dawn
true, we all have fear for what's unknown
would there be ugly words thrown?
Would this leave me broken, torn, alone?

I can't and I won't sleep tonight
thinking sadly of this sad plight
Starlight, Starbright, wish I may, wish I might
See a lovely day tomorrow with all things bright.

this mother's son

they got on my jeepney ride
a nice-looking young couple
a cute little boy in tow
he looked frail, quite unstable

they settled in their seat
she put the boy on her lap
a bag of chips in his hand
probably the afternoon's snack

she opened the bag
and put it in his hand
he acknowledged, he smiled
and uttered, "Thank you, Mom"

she took his little hand
helped him pick a piece
with each piece he picked
she rewarded him with a kiss

such a sweet sight to see
I said to myself
a mother and a son
as she offered him lots of help

but i wondered why she had
to give him a smile and a kiss
each time his hand picked a piece
from inside the bag of chips

and on as we travelled
we finally reached their stop
carefully she held him
to his dad she gave him back

his dad took him
in his arms lovingly
the boy faltered for a second
clutched his dad's hand excitedly

I became more curious
as I watched them alight
careful little steps
but his face remained bright

finally, I gasped
as a thought flashed my mind
oh dear, now I know
that the little boy was BLIND.

hold on to a hope

don't let my dreams scare you
they just live deep within
they're not meant to rush or push you
'don't want things to go that extreme

i invite you to dream my dreams
in black and white and full color
take careful note of each little scene
sights, sounds, sensations, in its splendor

they are my hopes, are they realistic?
share a life together, that'd be fantastic!
shed off those fears, they'd just make you sick
believe me, I'd be with you, thin or thick

hold on, hang on but always take a step forward
falter if you must, but maintain the stand
we only have ONE LIFE TO LIVE, aim for that reward
together, in happiness, yeah, life is grand!

I won't

i won't sing you praises
i won't tell the world you're mine
i won't talk about the sweetness
of our love divine

i won't blow you kisses
or send hugs and warm embrace
i won't tell of things my heart misses
when we're out of touch and not in place

i won't paint your picture
on a canvas of words and phrases
i won't give away which gestures
make me love you more as my heart races

i won't speak about the laughter
that we share so heartily each time
i won't reveal the racy banter
when we talk time after time

believe you me, that this is true
i wrote this poem out of the blue
these are the things I wouldn't do
if I didn't truly love you.

game over

a hint of hope
a glint of anticipation
a dash of flutter
there they go, emotions!

you reach out
you open up
you spill your thoughts
yet you thought not

nice and easy
smooth and steady
baby steps, i agree
one slight miss, tragedy!

start over?
back to square one?
or game over?
all things said and done.

the walls I built

....i have built a wall around me
and i thought the wall was strong
it was made of tears and heartaches,
and of happiness gone wrong

everyday i tell myself, "be happy,
for you have felt that kind of love"
not everyone is quite as lucky
to receive that from up above.

i learned to accept that sometimes,
a love has to end somehow
it doesn't mean that all other times
must be spent crying, as i do now.

i weighed things against each other
and saw wisdom in the path I have taken
but when you and i were put asunder
why do i feel shaken and heartbroken?

i thought the walls i built around me
are strong and will hide my fears
Yet with a soft whisper as you called me,
the walls came down, and so did my tears.

the sun in my hands

I hold the sun in my hands
it glows just like a torch
strange, it feels warm just like the sand
not the kind that would burn and scorch

I'll have to wait until it's dusk
before I can perform this task
in a day I can only do this once
if I tarry, i will miss the chance!

the sun is scooped in my little hand
as it loses its warm glow
soon it will be dark here as I stand
I'll take a bow, thanks for watching the show!

the Dream

Many years ago I had a dream,
it was vague as what most dreams are,
in it I was floating in a stream,
in a small boat sailing afar.

the water was quiet, very calm, very still,
All I could see were gentle ripples,
The sun was high up like a big burning wheel,
Searing hot, I felt there was triple.

On the riverbank stood a little girl crying,
I was looking at her with a sigh,
I cannot deny, I know there is nothing,
I can do to hush her cries.

As the boat sailed farther in my dreams it was clear,
the little girl was no longer there,
When I tried to look a little bit harder,
I found out, who stood there, was my mother.

As dreams are unusual the next scene I saw,
was my mother in her white wedding dress,
but as I got closer, behold and lo!
she's in a hospital gown feeling distressed!

As the scene changed in the blink of an eye,
I was not anymore in the river,
Instead I was there as a 3 year old girl,
On a tiptoe, beside the bed of my mother.

A baby in a crib , laying calm and still,
caught my attention and made me wonder,
in a brief little second it was already clear,
he was my dearest newborn brother.

and then in an instant, the scenes flashed quickly,
one by one, they changed before my eyes,
she, my mother was in pain, undoubtedly,
and my father was hushing her cries.

then there were bright lights and there was a bier,
What I saw I could never forget,
She laid calmly and coldly right there in the center,
Flowers all around, everyone wept.

For so many years I dreamed the same dream,
but never quite understood what it meant,
now that I am older and added more years,
I think the message is now clearly sent.

As a three year old girl I could hardly remember,
as much as I would have wanted to,
These scenes were just all I could put together,
in reality, in dreams, through and through.

These are all but the memories I have of my mother,
Though I try to recall more, I fail,
All other things simply fade beyond wonder,
Couldn't do more, even if I cry and wail.

Until these days, this dream still comes by,
I have memorized it by heart,
Dear Mother I blow a kiss and a smile,
Forever you'll be here, though apart.

S, M, XL

small steps,little steps where to go? Straight ahead. Heading home? Right or left? 'wonder what's around the bend medium steps,bigger steps can't wait to see my hungry pet. hurry,hurry, can't you see? Gotta be home before sunset extra large,biggest steps we'll be home, don't you fret another mile, draw a sigh to those tall trees,say bye-bye orange small, medium red small, MEDium, EXTRA LARGE Hand in hand, my tiny partners Here in Black, I'm in charge!

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proud to be 46

i'm turning 46 on april 14
it is indeed a pleasant blessing
i'm turning 46 from being 18
i don't know where are the years in between

proud to be 46 because it means
46 Summers, Aprils, Springs
never a Winter, never a Fall
always dry and sunny days all

i am approaching the age that is golden
just like the world's beautiful older women
weathered by experience, character strengthened
playful, witty, intelligent, enlightened.

i share the joy of being 46
to others here who're in the same fix
savor the years before we are golden
follow your dreams, your future, don't darken.

a footnote here i will dare say
i know this will elicit a yea or a nay
age is just a number, so what if you're younger?
like it or not, soon you'll grow older.

what matters most is how you have lived
in this life what have you achieved?
accolades, honors, did they steer you ahead?
Or did they just make out of you, a Swellhead?

my beautiful friends who are twenty-something
you know who you are, in my life, you're a blessing
I know when it's your turn to become 46
women that are stronger, self-made, accomplished!

Cheers to all women approaching the golden years.
My birthday wish - may you all age beautifully and wonderfully.
Thank your lucky stars you did not make a mess of yourselves in your younger years

all in a day's work

dry and dusty
tired and spent
just like all other days
this day went

the CRANE drooped low
as if exhausted
the yellow PAIL tilted
wet, sandy grime crusted

my blue and white dump truck
can't you see it's stuck
I'll hurry up tomorrow
and take it out of the burrow

all in a day's work
now I need my spoon and fork
a day's wage is out of sight
no not me, I'm just a child...

Jack and his toys

today's a hot and sunny day
a perfect time to go out and play

so off i went to my basket of toys
oh no! they're all gone! 'must be the boys?

round and round i looked and looked
saw the empty basket, am i spooked?

i miss the birdy, the bear, the duckie,
oh where oh where is my favorite bunny?

i walked around and surveyed the place
is that a shadow of a bear's hairy face?

my gaze went up and what a joy!
pinned along a clothesline are all my toys!

now i still walk round and round, my heart's excited
can't wait to touch them when they're dried and dusted

oh great Sun up above continue shining
see you again around, on the next washing and drying.

mid-life crisis

underneath the false veil of cheerfulness
a heart is dying

beyond the false laughter
a soul is already dead

is this mid-life crisis?

does it mean I will live to be 92?

in the palm of my hand

ever since I can remember,
when you were young and age was tender;
I wanted to keep you safe and sound,
right here in the palm of my hand.

as a baby your moods were different,
you cry a lot, like a torrent;
even when others could not stand,
i hush your cries in the palm of my hand.

i saw you through being a toddler,
that same temperament like no other;
when times are bad and you feel deserted,
in the palm of my hand you are comforted.

the years you added did not do much change,
if at all, you have started acting more strange;
irate, impatient, in school almost always absent,
in the palm of my hand, i had wished you'd be content.

your tantrums started getting more serious,
to go to school, you don't want to, with lots of excuse;
the fear in my heart grew more, I could sense danger,
in the palm of my hand, you could be comforted no longer.

soon you will be older and will set out on your own,
I wonder, did I help you "grow up" at all?
I want to be there for you as much as I can,
in good times and in bad times, in the palm of my hand.

waiting

waiting...

...for the sun to go down
...for the white balloons to go up

...for the potted plants to grow
...for the streak of light through the cracks

...for the floorboards to creak
...for your footsteps as you speak

...for the rocking chair to rock
...till the shadows turn totally black...


COME HOME SOON

when I fall in love

we all know the first few bars...but the point of this blog is:

...and the moment I can feel that you feel that way too,
is when I fall in love with you...

my gold fish in a bowl

B is for Bitterness

you try to smile
it comes out as a smirk
you force out another try
it becomes a quirk

you brag of head knowledge
the wisdom of the fool
hurry now, do salvage
good manners learned from school

you discuss what truth is
it comes out as a lie
remember your promise
fantasy and reality, they both die

your bitterness bleeds through
hurting others as you go
in due time your own tears will flow
leave you wretched, broken and in sorrow...

let go of the bitterness
from it, digress
throw in some acts of humility
and you'll find happiness.